Solitary Songbird

Safety Suit - Anywhere But Here

2012-02-02T00:53:00.003+08:00

Let me share with you the most beautiful stories of my January.

I have dedicate my life to meeting new, special, profound and positive people from around the world. So far I have met around nine beautiful souls, some were relatively good though some could be better but I could recall one amazing experience.

His name is Alex Ander. And let me tell you on how amazing this person is.

He's a modest Brit, and he has respect for every single soul in the planet. He loves adventure as I am and has amazing stories of his hobby of manipulating others. Which I think might be weird. He somehow made me discover a part of myself I never knew and told me how special and unique I was and that made me feel even confident of myself. I'm so blessed and thankful that I was given a chance to touch his life and heart even for a short period of time. My heart aches when we had to part and we might not see each other for a long time, but I will always embrace every moment shared and I will never be able to forget every waking hour we spent in the gym and staying up all night to my music and just talk about life.

IF he stayed longer, tears will be shed because he meant so much.

So for my dear friend Alex, this song is for you. Please be safe where ever you are and I'll see you again. Because I rather be anywhere but here without you Alex!

Since you are bad at lyrics, the video here has the lyrics for you to read.

Hehe. :P

Foo Fighters - Walk

2012-01-23T21:49:00.002+08:00

My inspiration today is travel. And I am watching lots of programs involving adventures, getting lost and learning on cultures. I guess this song just adds up to everything! Enjoy~

IT will be fun if we all got lost when travelling, because that's what our forefathers did.

Howie Day - Collide

2012-01-23T21:38:00.004+08:00

I'm going back in time and just need a song where I could reflect on everything in life. Lately I've been meeting lots of people through my couchsurfing and it has been great. Tomorrow will be another great day. I'm really glad sometimes that websites like these attracts positive people, who are willing to make friends and share what they have learnt. One day, I hope to be such a person to inspire others as well.

So this song somehow goes out to all my friends especially for the present and the near future.

Am I glad we collided. :) Every day, I feel my heart, and just be thankful for everything that made me smile.

Switchfoot - You

2012-01-15T22:17:00.003+08:00

When the world gets tough and you're all alone, sometimes all you need is one soul to save us. Its either going to be yourself, or someone dear to your heart or someone you least expect to give you all the assurance to endure life.

That silent satisfaction that someone loves you is enough to get through the toughest day and make you feel beautiful when you feel unloved. And give you warmth through the darkest and loneliest nights.

This is how you remind me.

Train - Marry Me

2012-01-15T21:56:00.003+08:00

Its a Sunday and everyone needs to chill and unwind. This song touched my heart somehow. Though I don't believe in marriages, I guess this gives a little hope. And I'm going to be in the wedding business soon with one of the most beautiful friends and just can't wait to be planning the entertainment and music. I finally got a job where I put my good taste in music to good use!

Let's just chill out to Train :)

Someday I'm going to put this song in one of the lucky couple's wedding ceremony X)

Note to self

2012-01-11T23:15:00.003+08:00

NO chocolates, cut down on sweets :'(

Strictly no fast food, maximum only 1 time per week.

Lots of water & chlorophyll intake

Work out at least 3-4 times per week

*Counting down to 28 days until Phuket trip.

A girl wanna look her best in a bikini you know.

Backstreet Boys - I still

2012-01-09T19:54:00.002+08:00

I have to admit that this song is good, though a tad old, the lyrics definitely suits my mood. So fell sick these 2-3 days and I loads of time on my hands. Somehow this song strongly made me remember of all the good times spent with that special person and how we have to let it go and be just friends because of his career as a US Marine. And on every full moon, it keeps reminding me of him.

Something worth fighting for is definitely not dying for.

Switchfoot - Meant To Live

2011-12-30T21:01:00.002+08:00

I honestly love switchfoot. Extremely good lyrics and vocals plus the drums and the guitar just adds up to perfection. This is another one of their music I find beautiful that I just had to share with the world.

This song is dedicated to all the fools who are searching for the man/woman in their life to hold, when the world is much much bigger than that.

Switchfoot - Dare You To Move

2011-12-30T20:39:00.003+08:00

So everyone is talking about the new year. Soon it will be 2012 and everyone is talking about resolutions and goals. For me, its simply about finding yourself, discovering others and the world through the years. This is one of the songs that I hope that could inspire others. Enjoy~

My new year's motto : Never back down & No fear.

What's yours?

Bruno Mars - It Will Rain

2011-12-23T22:05:00.003+08:00

No, I'm not a fan of twilight but I really adore this music video. Reminds of the good times I've had a month back. Sometimes it will just keep coming back without any warning and the next minute, I'm just smiling to myself.

Linkin Park - My December

2011-12-22T23:35:00.003+08:00

Every December, the history repeats itself. The past haunts, the emptiness surrounds me and I am just feeling guilty. I keep asking myself questions whether I should be happy and enjoy days with my friends out dancing and having dinner, or just hide in my own corner brooding to my songs and books.

I just have this need to be alone, and I'm not afraid to be. I keep feeling a heartache but I'm not sure what's the cause. There's just too many things that happened in my life that I keep reflecting on before the year ends. All the mistakes, the changes, the plans made, the promises broken.

I wanted to cry but somehow the tears were all dried out. I wanted to smile but it keeps fading away. I guess I just need someone to come home to. Enjoy the song beautiful souls.

Empty

2011-12-21T22:17:00.002+08:00

Somehow deep down inside, I believe that love never lasts.

Bon Jovi / Kate Voegele - Hallelujah

2011-12-21T21:31:00.005+08:00

Since Christmas is coming up, its only fair I post up a song which reminds me of that. So at first it was this hoax about Bon Jovi being dead. I was having a heartache but thank goodness it wasn't true. So took the time to appreciate his music while he still is around and found this.

Bon Jovi's Cover

Kate Voegele's Cover

Their voices are really beautiful. The cover from Kate Voegele is as amazing... Enjoy. Will be posting other songs as well this festive season.

Hinder - Better Than Me

2011-12-13T17:10:00.004+08:00

When someone who means much to you leaves without closure, you began to wonder if he will remember the details. And somehow everyday goes by, some were good, some could be better, and there were times where everything keeps reminding me of that special person. Sometimes the movies I watched makes my heart ache even if its a comedy. Probably because I miss hanging out with that person and having cookies, sharing the milk plus the warmth of his hug plus the laughter and smiles.

These few days, I realize I've been faking my smiles to my customers at work. And my heart feels really empty. I'm not too sure why, but in my mind, Christmas is coming and so is New Year's. There is nobody I could ever think about hanging out with those 2 events but that person, and with everyone hyped about the festive occasions, it doesn't seem to affect me positively in that sense.

And when this usually happens, I turn to songs, books and working out to occupy myself rather than whining them out to my friends. I'm trying to be a man in that sense and not afraid to be alone. Somehow after all that has happened, he made me stronger and his memories will always be there warming up the cold days that will be sure to come by. The song today is my current mood.

Part close to my heart :

I told myself I won't miss you, but I remembered what it feels like beside you.

I'll keep on praying every night that you will be safe out there dear friend. :')

Krystal Harris - Supergirl

2011-12-08T21:36:00.003+08:00

Sometimes you save so many souls from breaking down, you forgot you need to be saved as well. Sometimes I think I know who I want to be in this life. I don't need money, education or love even. I'm not afraid of being alone. I want to look out into this world, discover its beauty, its beautiful people and take risks.

Although sometimes I have my moments whereby I need to be saved. Happens once in a while. The last time someone saved me was that person. He saved me from being a prey by another. He too saved me from the influence of others and respecting me & what I believe in.

He doesn't realize that, neither do I. Until today when I thought hard about it.

The simple things he did, will leave a mark and I do hope I left a mark in his as well. Though boys seemed to move on pretty well, I wish he hasn't forgotten our great days spent.

So the song today explains my situation.

Thank you for saving me beautiful soul.

In another life, I would make you stay.

The Last Moment

2011-12-07T22:14:00.003+08:00

So watched the latest episode of Supernatural yesterday and cried because the most amazing person who stood by Sam and Dean Whincester died due to a bullet to the brain. The whole episode is very emotional on how he was forced to fight off his past by dealing with it no matter how old you are, you have to look back on those things, live, let die and move on.

It's really inspiring how his last words were not trying to make Sam and Dean cry but rather to make them laugh by saying Idiots/Idgets and take the last strength to smile.

In another life, I want to be a Whincester brother. X)

Plus I'm already cursed.

War

2011-12-06T20:40:00.002+08:00

I've been viewing videos in youtube about the war in Iraq, on how the US Marines are killing because of an order from the government and the billionaires. I do think of that special someone sometimes, out there, killing innocent people. Even if they say, once a marine, always a marine, at times we've got to think on the risks of our career paths. Whether all the badges and the ranks and the rifles did matter or not. At the end of the day, its the cries and the blood and pain that we have caused others who do not deserve the life. And its true that sometimes you have nothing to gain from that occupation.

This video made me tear up. Please take a while.

Which side are you on soldiers/sailors/marines?

The wars are never-ending. Its like having war on oxygen supply.

What we're fighting for will never be worth dying for.

30 Seconds To Mars - The Kill

2011-12-03T20:30:00.002+08:00

This is rather an old song but it never gets old. Sprained my ankle while using the punching bag to vent out my anger inside. It really sucks not to work out and use the gym to just get active and dance my heart out. People are just trying to listen but somehow they can't do much so I rather just keep it to myself.

Also, this makes good a rhythmic music to punch someone. ITs the song I was listening to while I did my routine. Felt really good and painful at the same time. The hands were just red but it doesn't hurt.

I'm really beginning to love this part of myself.

I'm slowly evolving, hopefully not mutating into someone crazier than I already am. But being crazy isn't too bad. Real life needs action anyway.

E.S Posthumus - Pompeii

2011-12-01T17:46:00.002+08:00

When lyrics won't come our way, its all the music that makes you feel.

Let's just say this music just makes me want to punch someone in the face or just anybody standing in my way and stand tall.

So many fucked up things going on with the family that I've been using the punching bag at work and fighting those feelings off my chest. The hands were hurt pretty bad, but not as bad as how the heart took the damage but I found the tears holding back, instead of flowing and I could never be proud of myself.

And this also makes you feel powerful on your own.

No fear of being alone. :) Oh, I found this song on the trailer of Spiderman.

Katy Perry - The One That Got Away

2011-11-28T21:09:00.003+08:00

Well, this song caught my eye because of its title. We all have someone or something that was never meant to be in our lives at some point. And this is a side of Katy Perry whom I think is really beautiful. I'm lovin' her emo looks in this one.

Plus the lyrics make you just want to make that special someone stay for long. Though I don't want to regret anymore, there are times when you wish you could have done something. But it was never your fault to begin with anyway, so we should never dwell forever and just hold on to the memories and move forward. And just let go and learn. Because life is really an adventure. We should always take risks, fall in love, immerse yourself in the danger and just show no fear to no one but God. ( At least for me )

Damn, my mp3 is already full. I can't spare the heart to delete some of the songs.

Splender - I Think God Can Explain

2011-11-26T20:40:00.004+08:00

When you're feeling down low, all you needed was this song. Big brother gave me this song to help me pull through the day.

I'm really blessed with beautiful souls who respects me for who I am. And someone was even there for me though she is 1000miles away and one day time difference, she was there for me. With that, thank you, Tanya Gregson. You will always be in my prayers no matter where you go in this world, and I pray you will be safe.

Someone up there must really love me.

:) Thank you doesn't quite cut it.

That feeling

2011-11-24T17:54:00.002+08:00

That feeling of knowing someone is leaving, that panic attack.

Knowing the regret that comes afterwards wishing you had more time.

My heart suddenly just beats fast and I was out of breath just thinking it.

But then I thought of that smile.

A night to remember

2011-11-19T18:02:00.003+08:00

I would love to thank a great friend for inviting me to one of his first Marine Corps 236th Birthday Ball. The night was nerve-wrecking personally for myself because everyone look so beautiful. Especially when I'm seated at the table with the beautiful marine guys. It is truly an honor and I am very thankful for that moment. I only embed the moments in my mind. Sadly enough.

I swear I'm not going to look at a Marine the same way again. I am so proud of my marine friends and they have underwent through lots of training, homesickness from their family, pain and suffering even I cannot picture or walk in their shoes. With that I salute you all. Alongside the men in uniforms, I also have a glimpse of the beautiful women of the army and also the wives who stood by them through everything.

The highlights of that night was the inspiring speeches, the ceremony which gave me chills and I just felt like one of my wishes came true. To learn more about the US government is one of the wishlist I've had before.

I'm going to miss those short but beautiful moments with that fearless sergeant who have inspired others around him including myself. It's sad that time is running out but I'll take whatever is given.

Dear God,

I beg you to watch over him and never let him out of your sight. No matter disasters which come over him, whether physically or emotionally, give him strength through all his pain. Whenever his days are filled with darkness, please give him light and hope to carry on.

And if it's possible, I ask of you, I hope this will not be the last I will see of him.

Alex Band - Only One

2011-11-17T22:09:00.002+08:00

Sometimes we've got to take whatever that's left and hold on.

This song is kinda healing probably because of the voice and the lyrics. True we got only one chance for something and we can't let it slip. I'm just glad it happened. I won't take it for granted. And I'll probably will remember it for the rest of my life.

Hearts locked and hand grenades ready.

Note to self

2011-11-17T20:55:00.003+08:00

No fear.

Seether & Amy Lee - Broken

2011-11-13T00:00:00.002+08:00

Another discovery I've made. I decide to go back in time to reminiscence on all the good old gothic music by Evanescence back then. And this was one of the latest. Plus I think this girl is beautiful, the kind of girl where you can't get to see everyday and don't have to put on make up and a dress to look amazingly good.

Enjoy!~

Nickelback - We Will Rock You

2011-11-12T20:54:00.002+08:00

One of my personal hobbies is love looking around for bands/singers who do covers on other artist's songs and today I made an amazing discovery. For all the rock lovers out there, this song is for all of you :)

This song gives me the chills, and this is by far, in my opinion one of the best We Will Rock You cover I have ever heard. So going into my mp3 player.

Nickelback - Gotta Be Somebody

2011-11-11T20:16:00.002+08:00

Everybody needs someone who cares. I love that feeling of the first touch, that first laugh

I love immersing myself in the arms of someone who wants you badly,kiss you, tell you to don't hold back and love your smile and tell it to you while looking into your eyes.

I guess this song is for everybody in particular. All we have to do is wait, let's not rush.

Skylar Grey - Love The Way You Lie

2011-11-06T22:30:00.003+08:00

So many lies in this world that others throw at me, and I can't trust anyone. Someone so beautiful could turn out so ugly on the inside. Someone so naive could never trust anyone anymore. Someone so innocent could turn out to be the worst hypocrite.

I'm still really surprised how people could change so easily. And how much it hurts knowing you can't be the same but you want to. So the song today is about lies.

Favorite parts :

No matter how many nasty things we put on each other's back, we'll always have each others back.
Even angels have a wicked scheme, and you take that to new extreme, but you'll always be my hero, even though you lost your mind.

My Inspiration - Sarah Walker aka Yvonne Stratovski

2011-11-02T21:33:00.003+08:00

Her beauty, takes your breath away.

Her intelligence makes you wonder.

Her speedy fighting moves is just another gift that makes you feel protected.

Her ability to lie about her true feelings and her true self reflects strength.

Her love for him surpasses them all even if he's with another girl, she hold back her tears and still protect him from everything.

She's the best CIA agent.

She is my inspiration.

Muse - Feeling Good ( Cover )

2011-10-26T18:09:00.003+08:00

So a beautiful soul showed me a cover of Can't Take My Eyes Off You by Muse. Holy Cow! I said. Muse is known for their unique sounds, electric masterpieces and the spooning voice of their front man. So I decided to surf around again for more and found this STUNNING performance.

Hold on to your edge of your seat music lovers :D

This is another video featuring their live performance of Can't Take My Eyes Off You. ENJOY!

I love his SCREAM.

Alex Band - Tonight & Where Ever you Will Go

2011-10-26T17:56:00.004+08:00

This guy has one of the most beautiful voices in my opinion. He came from the band, The Calling. When I surf his live performances, it really makes you feel blessed. So here he is, flying solo, and I decided to give his songs a try and it is goooooood.

This was the live performance that made a girl's heart melt :

And hence, his new song. There are others but it will be published on other days.

I hate Twilight for obvious reasons and the video reminds me of it. Just hear the music cause that's what its about :)

Favorite parts :

Tonight, I got you where I want you. Closer I can tell you anything.
Tonight let the music take ensemble, fall into forever.

Inspirational lyric of the day

2011-10-20T21:03:00.003+08:00

In all of the creations, all things great and small, you're the one that surpasses them all. More precious than diamond or pearls, they broke the mold when you came into this world.

Daughtry - No Surprise ( Extended Version )

2011-10-15T16:54:00.003+08:00

When life brings you down, listen to this song.

Every time the song is played anywhere, a part of me would smile, a part of me would break down, some parts would cry, some parts would be positive.

It makes me think that no one wants the hard life. But there are people out there with hard life who are silent and who does not want others to be hurt by what happened in their lives and push others away even the people close to her.

I hope my future might be better I truly do, but at this rate it might not be. Damn it, my positivity went out the window at this moment.

Parts I wish I could say to that special person :

The kiss goodnight it comes with me, both wrong and right our memories. The whispering before we sleep, just one more thing that you can keep.
Our favorite place we use to go, the warm embrace that no one knows. The loving look that's left of your eyes, I know in time we'll find this was no surprise.
There's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow, I can't believe that I stayed today. You and I will be a tough act to follow but I know in time this was no surprise.
There's nothing in this heart left to borrow, there's nothing here in this soul left to say. God knows I tried to find an easy way.

Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars

2011-10-15T16:07:00.003+08:00

Its a classic song. Simple words, keep you thinking deeper about that special someone close to your heart. 2 days before I had this beautiful dream of mom. We were in a hurry to go somewhere and we walked through a thunderstorm together. We hugged and of course I felt the warmth. We just feel so young and I remembered she bought a primary 2 school uniform instead of secondary school. It was the last time she saw me in a uniform going to school.

Somehow when I wake up, this song was playing first in the mp3 player. And it immediately made my heart aches. I just wish I could lie down with her spirit in the middle of the empty road just watching cars pass by and no words needed.

I just can't wait for my life to finally all end so I could see mom again.

Its not suicidal, I'm just so sick of this life cause there's nothing else to live for.

I don't quite know how to say how I feel.

Quote that inspire me today

2011-10-11T00:35:00.000+08:00

Mistakes are proof that we're trying.

Does the pain weigh out your pride?

2011-10-08T22:22:00.006+08:00

Whenever there's love, there is also conflicts in the heart.

Enrique Iglesias - Hero

2011-10-06T22:28:00.004+08:00

Let's go back to the beautiful pop songs from the early days where good music is all around. Feeling a little melodramatic so I decided to put up an old song which meant a lot to me. Its the first song which I could play on my guitar.

Somehow this music video is kind of awesome. Running away together from a bunch of crooks, stealing money from a bank, risking your life but having time to gaze into each other's eyes. Its fun knowing someone is beside you through all the tough times because nowadays, everyone wants only the good times in a relationship.

Somehow when you think about it, if you take out the kissing, the holding hands, the make outs, the physical parts, what you are left with if its not what you think is what you want to live with, then you're a ass.

Eminem/Rihanna/Skylar Grey/Dr Dre - Love the way you lie & I need a doctor

2011-10-06T21:25:00.002+08:00

My brother officially made me love this performance. I think its a beautiful cohesion between these 4 artists.

Enjoy this live performance.

The Script - For The First Time

2011-09-27T21:14:00.002+08:00

I guess this song is a reminder of what's left inside of my heart. I keep waking up with a broken heart sometimes but I pretend everything is alright because we have to move forward even though we never move on at all, like a treadmill. You're running at your highest speed but you're still stationary.

And my favorite part? This song explains exactly how I wake up and go to bed every morning and night with a heart ache that I thought would go away some day.

Faith

2011-09-26T22:20:00.002+08:00

I guess if you're going to have faith, you can't just have it when the miracles happen. You have to have it when they don't.

Black Eyed Peas Ft Papa Roach

2011-09-23T20:57:00.002+08:00

I officially cannot stop listening to mash ups and covers of artists by other artists. Also listening to lots of remixes. Thanks to my new job, I was forced to listen to songs which I might dislike. But being a music lover, I decide to give everything a try. Except for techno. For now...

This song is a cross by a RnB band plus a Metal band.

It sounds really awesome and it is a genius. Might be an old song but have a hard time finding it through the years.

This songs explains how a person is being proactive by being the best of man. We have heard of terrorists and enemies. Sometimes what we want to do is just fight back by throwing back hand grenades at them for their actions but it might end up even worst than before.

Sometimes we do have a feeling where by we have to stand up and fight for no reason because of what people say or do to us or what life did. But somehow losing yourself through violence and anxiety, we'll end up regretting our actions in the end. Although those terrorist will not think like that. But in overall, this song makes you stronger emotionally.

Favorites parts :

I don't fear none of my enemies, I don't fear bullets from the Uzis.
My head keeps running away my brother, the only thing making me stay my brother but I won't give into it.
Gotta get myself back now, God I can't let my mind be. Tell my enemy is my own.
Emotions are trapped set on lock, got my brain stuck going through the motions.
I'm filled up with pain, trying to gain my sanity. Everywhere I turn its a dead end to me.

Phil Collins - You'll Be In My Heart

2011-09-23T20:41:00.002+08:00

I'm going back to the past. The songs are way more beautiful,meaningful, captivating and timeless. This song is adapted by that movie we all grew up in, Tarzan. Sometimes I wish the world could be like in our childhood movies. There are so many good values to be learn each day and we fight negativity instead of taking it to heart.

And somehow I still believe that animals understand me. Its a childhood secret. I talk to lots of animals, be it hamsters, rabbits, cats, birds, and even turtles. Everyone still find me weird and childish. But who wants to grow up and be miserable and stop believing in miracles or dreams which comes true? I was forced to learn it the hardest way possible. But I hold on to child dreams and be positive.

This song makes me feel like all my furry friends are singing this to me. And its for all my beautiful souls out there who have a special place in my heart. Because they are the ones who kept me going in this life no matter how many tragedies fell into my life.

Favorite parts :

Don't listen to them, what do they know? We need each other to have to hold.
When destiny calls you, you must be strong, I may not be with you, but you got to hold on.

Butch Walker - Mixtape

2011-09-10T21:28:00.002+08:00

This song is beautiful. It somehow explains how a boy really wants this girl whom she think he never exists. How one smile from this girl could bring this boy to life, and how she means the world to him.

Just like having an innocent crush. Sometimes some songs remind you of that special person. When you're rejected, there are also songs to explain that feeling. Just like a mixtape. I guess life is a mixtape. Some songs give us motivation, some makes us even more heartbroken than our state of mind, some just makes us dance and bop our head and air guitar.

Favorite parts :

You say Hello, inside I'm screaming I love you. You say goodnight, in my mind I'm sleeping next to you. You drive away, from my car crash of a heart and I don't know but you gave me the best mixtape I have, Even the bad songs ain't so bad.
I just wish there's so much more than that about me and you.
Don't turn around and say bye again, it crushes my head when you call me your friend.

Pink & Adam Lambert - What Do You Want From Me

2011-09-06T23:32:00.002+08:00

2 great rock artists, one great song.

Sometimes you need to find yourself, you have to push everyone else away from your life. But sometimes what you need is for them to stick around a little while longer. I'm a mess right now but I hope I am slowly recovering. Maybe what I wanted was someone to be there to lean on when I fall. And for someone to hold on and believe in me.

This is to all my dear friends who has been there for me emotionally through the most difficult phases of my life. They taught me to keep believing and to think positive though it takes time since I'm still wounded. Somehow my prayers were answered and now I am surrounded by people who loves me and wants to catch up with my life and even care. I'm the luckiest girl right now.

Sorry for the rise and fall of the volume of the video. Its entirely fan made.

Favorite parts :

Just don't give up, I'm working it out, please don't give in. I won't let you down. It mess me up, need a second to breathe, just keep coming around.
Baby you're beautiful and there's nothing with you. Its me, I'm a freak but thanks for loving me cause you're doing it perfectly.
There might have been a time when I would let you slip away, I wouldn't even try but I think you can save my life.

Greenday - Whatsername

2011-09-05T22:09:00.003+08:00

Because sometimes leaving the person that you love might end up being the thing that you will regret for your entire life.

Let's all think of this song. 10 years down the road, do we really want to see the person that you love go away so easy. And regret and wonder what made you made that stupid decision when you're older. Because there's many adults that are in their prime talking about their first love, and how they should have persevered instead of giving up. And the pattern is, they will never ever forget their first love. Wouldn't it be so beautiful to turn back time?

If we know we do not have that kind of luxury, why are we giving up like this when there is definitely something strong? One day, it will be your loss.

Favorite parts :

And in the darkest nights, if my memory serves me right, I'll never turn back time, forgetting you but not the time.
The regrets are useless in my mind.

Keith Urban - Stupid Boy

2011-09-04T23:51:00.002+08:00

I needed inspiration. Along came this song. Enjoy.

Favorite parts :

Every single word in the song is beautiful. Listen. :)

Gavin Degraw - Cheated On Me

2011-09-04T16:01:00.004+08:00

I guess the song explains it all. Gavin Degraw is special, his songs are so inspiring. This song explains that how sometimes when you're feeling cheated. You keep blaming yourself for all the bad things in your relationship.

I've been cheated by a lot of people, not just boys. And I blame myself. I'm not perfect. This turn into a trust issue I developed over time.

Sure there are a lot other cute girls/guys in this world other than the person you love, but its up to you to cheat or to respect your relationship and have dignity. It takes me back to my younger, less mature days where I love flirting and making friends with good-looking boys but somehow at the end of the day, its the person I am with whom I think about that is better than all of them put together. And its not really cheating until you make a move by kissing or making out or worst, sleeping. Although I am guilty partly just by contacting them.

Its the season to cheat with what I noticed lately. Kids, teenagers, even mature adults are not as mature as we all think they are.

If its not love, leave the feeling alone.

Favorite part :

I said I had this stage before but I left an open door. For this to walk into my life. And maybe I suspect too much. But its hard for me to trust when I'm all wound up inside and drove you into someone else's eyes.

Prayer to someone above

2011-09-04T15:51:00.001+08:00

Untreated infection

2011-09-04T15:24:00.005+08:00

My mother once said that she is always worried about me.

How I am always stressed all the time. How I couldn't control my emotions. How I'm always thinking non stop and giving myself more stress all the time. How it affects my body physically and how it affects my relationships.

How my menstruation was as late as 9months. And its still late due to hormonal imbalance due to stress. My eating habits change more than ever. Sometimes I feel so hungry but after eating I end up vomiting everything out. Still, I managed to gain weight, which makes me hate myself even more now. Plus having sleeping disorders every night.

I couldn't stop making myself feel this way. I'm trying to hard to stop myself but I can't, I keep doing it because I just feel like I have to punish myself and I'm not even worth breathing right now. And I realized that I'm really sick on the inside. If this goes on untreated, I might have stroke and heart attacks when I grow up and its scientifically proven.

Of course nobody might realize because I tend to smile all the time and pretend things will be okay. And everybody will say I am just making things bigger than they are. And I don't want to talk to anyone about this which is why I'm writing it all down. Because I know no one would believe me.

Lifehouse - Broken

2011-09-04T15:01:00.002+08:00

This song is the comfort food for the broken heart. As you try your best to be guarded against everything, you're even more hurt. And you realized that the things that caused you pain, is the things that can heal it. So the best thing is to hold on to dear life.

The world is full of lies, doubts and hardships. Its up to us to not let it affect us, but somewhere or rather it will affect us emotionally. Somehow these days, I kept reading on people affected by Hurricane Irene and famine in Africa, makes me cry. What I learn, is that the world will keep breaking your heart. You just need to learn who are the ones to hold on to for another day.

Despite everything, I still believe in hope.

Favorite parts :

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head. I tried my best to be guarded but I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes, that are looking for life
I'm hanging on another day, just to see what you will throw away. And I'm hanging on to the words you say

Note To Self

2011-09-01T01:16:00.002+08:00

Note to self :

Whenever you feel heartbroken thinking of all the crap, think of that magical day in the airport eating Fillet-O-Fish with mom and think of that night where she wants me to do a facial on her and we laugh on how cute she was when I did facial massages for her.

Tyler Hilton - You'll Ask For Me

2011-08-30T00:09:00.003+08:00

Oh wow. I surf around youtube today and hear awesome music all around, just makes me feel like I am in a record/vinyl store till after hours. The singer featured on this post is one of the best country/ musician with a great voice, and no, he is not related to Paris Hilton ( Thank GOD ).

Gosh this song is so beautiful. Lyrics, voice, tune and meaning.

In simple terms, this song makes me want to say to the world, that I am not sometimes what they see or experience before. But you are not ready yet, and this song just spoke to me because I want to be better, and slowly but surely will be, but not ready for my full package yet. Because great things take time.

This song just gives me hope and positiveness, hope it will do to you as well.

Favorite parts :

Well, I am what you see, I am not what they say. But if I turned out to be, could you love me anyway? I'm standing in anonymous, hoping for your heart. Will just wake up and ask for me by name, just not today.
So don't you leave me by my lonesome to exceed my reputation

Uh Huh Her - Dreamer

2011-08-29T23:21:00.004+08:00

Dreamer. Feels like De Ja Vu writing about dreams again.

Singaporeans call dreamers a bum because its all about how much money you earn every month. I use to be a dreamer, dreaming big. I want to go overseas, go to a university, helping others, scientifically or just volunteering, going to Africa or the Great Barrier Reefs or just anywhere where help is needed. I use to want to be a fashion designer or a dancer and then change to chemist then to just no one. Because all those dreams are crushed over and over by life and people that you love.

What I learn from the adult world here, is that you have to pick one. There can never be love and your dreams at the same time. Let you inside of me a little.

I use to dream of

My mother crying happily watching me grow up into a beautiful woman
Me graduating before age 20 and got a degree
Me going to London with my mom and she is just looking up at the clock tower and wrapped in a beautiful coat shivering and smiling.
Me going to University of North Carolina, studying Marine Conservation, hanging out at Wilmington beach with my loved ones everyday and see the sunset and just take a breather.

Almost all is crushed and I stop everything because its just not going to happen because of reality. A dear friend ask me about my plans, and he asked, " What happen to Chemist Nora? "

For years its hard, and I have to face it first before anyone else does. Everyone here wants a family, wants a home, wants children and wants a big fancy wedding or just being rich.

It was so hard letting all the dreams go, because it has affected me and people around me. For years people say I'm just a stupid dreamer who cares no one other than herself, and they are right. Because no one cared about what I want at the most crucial time of my growing up years and because my mother's dream of becoming a singer/dancer is crushed, and she chose marriage over dreams and end up being criticized in the end until she die. And that's who I am today, a great big mess. I realized that my dreams keep hurting people and it hurts me that I can't do much in my own life. And I just want my mom to be proud of me. So I'm still in a dilemma.

So I guess these are my dreams for now :

Waking up to the other side of the Earth, anywhere is fine, Wilmington beach preferred
Finding myself, helping others, being at my best

To all my dearest dreamers out there, careful what you wish for. Don't let it affect the person you love or hold the other person back or even hurt him/her. Its one mistake I did for dreaming.

I guess the more I want to dream, the more I end up being like my mother, putting others before herself.

Favorite parts :

Are we fighting for peace, Are you still in love with me, or someone else?
Are you such a dreamer? Put yourself in my shoes, careful what you wish for
I lost my head, this is just the beginning. Not enough, its never enough. I just want to keep on dreaming

Inspiration

2011-08-29T21:12:00.000+08:00

We are way to young to believe that everything is not going to be okay - Mark Shawn

Cheap Trick - I Want You To Want Me

2011-08-27T00:11:00.002+08:00

Going back O-School for a little bit. This song is simple, straight forward and just sweet. If you can't say I love you, sing this song to the person you like or possibly love. ITs hopelessly romantic.

What can I say, I just keep singing this song whenever my hopes are down or whenever there is an awkward moment. Turns everything around. Plus, it is so easy for this song to be stuck to your head. You're warned!

Favorite parts : Everything :)

Marilyn Manson - Tainted Love

2011-08-26T23:56:00.003+08:00

Someone's feeling emo and dark today. The song's awesome, describes how a man feels when the woman has an insatiable appetite to hurt him over and over again. The music video however is a little confusing but otherwise the beats and Marilyn's scream is beautiful.

This song seems to intrigue anger in me as well, just feel like you need to break a bottle and stab someone with it. Obviously someone watched too much supernatural movies/series. Ahhh, life should be an adventure. I've been thinking of going to high aliments activities soon, and challenge myself, maybe because I saw a hilarious episode of Wipeout, you just think that you need a stressbuster.

Favorite parts :

This tainted love you've given, I give you what a boy could give you. Take my tears and that's not nearly all.
Don't touch me please, I cannot stand the way you tease. I love you though you hurt me so, Now I'm going to pack my things and go.

Inspiring Quotes To Get Through The Day

2011-08-25T00:55:00.002+08:00

The two quotes are taken surprisingly by a video in youtube, Batman & Red Hood.

Without misery, happiness doesn't mean anything. You can't have one without the other. If there is no suffering in the world then there is also no joy, because people wouldn't know what happiness was without the opposite extreme to compare it to. We would not grasp the value it holds. The perfect world is the one we're in. The world you're talking about is a place without triumph. Without hope. Without dreams. Good doesn't exist without evil. It's why we have both inside us.
Red Hood says that you can't stop it, so you have to control it. But that makes him just as bad as all the people he kills. Batman understands that he must fight them without becoming them, he admits later that he wants nothing more than to descend to that level but if he does he'll never come back.

Dedicated to all those lost souls who have forgotten to believe in the immensity of love.

Joan Jett - I Hate Myself For Loving You

2011-08-25T00:01:00.003+08:00

This song is a classic. And she brings out the bad-assness a girl could be and how guys can only dream to be with her but can never have. I aspire to be that girl someday. And I guess someday is now.

I guess this song explains a love triangle or a one-sided love. There's always someone else in the picture and some days you feel stupid going after something you can never have, but some days you feel that you must not give up, and some days you feel you are so stupid for doing this.

Favorite parts :

Can't break free from the things that you do.
I wanna walk but I run back to you, that's why
I hate myself for loving you
I turn my back and you're messing around.
I'm not really jealous, don't like looking like a clown.

Greenday - Last Of The American Girls

2011-08-24T23:27:00.002+08:00

Today's song inspires me to be dangerous. Being good is boring. All you can do is get married, have kids and miss out the great things in life. Maybe that is the reason why guys flirt and cheat with me instead of staying. Because I am dangerous? Because I have larger dreams than building a home? I think I'm gonna puke. However that does not give them a reason to hurt another human being. What's wrong being in love with a dangerous girl? I guess its the courage no man until today could prove.

With my whole damn life turning all upside down and just being lost, I say, Let's get lost. Who knows what awaits us at the end of the tunnel. I know I am a disaster. Who wants to stick around to a parentless orphan like me? Who is fucked up emotionally and has no one to look up to anymore? Who has no home, no education, no future, and broke?

Everyone wants the good girl, the one who has everything. The educated, the rich, have homes, have parents, have no problems loving and trusting another human. People like me on the other hand, had to undergo a series of backstabbing by others and insults and had to be thrown out of houses and be spitted at. People like me had to make of what's left into something good. People like me has to learn on our own instead of looking at others. And its hard holding on to our own lives and what's more to our own thinking, erratic behaviors and dreams and futures. And people like me have a problem saying I love you.

Underneath all the bullshit, its hard to show people that I'm just human, playing roles of being others until I eventually myself, and that is still a mystery even to me. So if you love me, have faith.

Favorite parts :

She's a runaway of the establishment incorporated. She won't cooperate, she's the last of the american girls.
She plays her vinyl records and singing songs at the eve of destruction
She's a natural disaster

Inspiring Quotes of the Day

2011-08-16T17:47:00.005+08:00

To offer a girl friendship when love is in her heart, is like giving a loaf of bread to someone dying of thirst.
A guy and a girl can be just friends, but eventually they will fall for one another, maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late or maybe forever.
Silence is a girl’s loudest cry.

BJ Thomas - Raindrops Falling On My Head

2011-08-15T20:39:00.004+08:00

Today's inspiring song, since its a comfortable rainy day, I couldn't ask for more. Even though life hit me hard, the weather and this song made me smile at the end of a weary day. Enjoy the video from my all-time favorite movie, Spiderman!

This song has the most uplifting beats that can cure a heartbreak and silly notes that make us want to stand tall and count our blessings and snap our fingers. :)

Favorite parts :

1) Raindrops keep falling on my head

But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red

Crying's not for me

Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining

2) The blues they send to to meet me won't defeat me

It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Usher - Yeah

2011-08-07T23:54:00.004+08:00

Today's all about expressing yourself. This beautiful man inspires me and I think he is adorable and is not afraid to show what he's got! I'd totally date him! This song is for all the dancers out there, especially Ernest!! Its old-school !!

Here's the video that made me smile & laugh

Honestly, I have not experience the clubbing world, only the music, live bands but never clubs where people actually dance in the crowds. Hollywood made it so special and you feel like stepping your game up. Hopefully I get to try it one day and dance with my loved ones, and my friends are awesome dancers! :) I remember Mom use to tell me about her stories in the club and her singing in the live band. She is so inspiring and I hope to sing and dance like her some day.

Favourite part : The beats, Hell Yea!

Vertical Horizon - Goodbye Again

2011-08-02T20:35:00.007+08:00

Today, I plug in my mp3 player which I just bought, put it to shuffle mode, and play the songs starting from their choruses for 10 seconds and I get to select which one inspires me. Today's pick : Vertical Horizon - Goodbye Again

This song somehow feels like you give something/someone a chance to start over, thinking they deserve a chance but somehow a leopard never change its spots. Goodbye again, and maybe this is the last time they will ever hear from you. Beautiful song. The way this song impacts me is about my family. In their eyes, I'm just a black sheep. Since 16, I have tried trusting everyone and eventually, I did but I was wrong. Both parties seemed to play with it like I'm a soccer ball being kicked but its only my choice to score in which goal post. So its just goodbye to each of them and I thanked them for hurting me so I will not be so easy to fall again.

Parts that inspire me dearly :

1) Guess I don't know what else to say, hear me out.

All of the dreams of yesterday, keep breaking me down.

2) Its way past time, for one last try.

3) I can't decide which is the truth.

Michelle Branch - Lay Me Down

2011-07-30T15:11:00.005+08:00

Since I'm all out for redundant stories of my life, I've decided to write about my songs and how it affects my flow of life, I figured I wanna share some of the world's ( my world anyway ) beautiful songs.

Today's song is sung by Michelle Branch, one of the most beautiful voices ever existed, and the song is called Lay Me Down.

Somehow this song to me, feels like after your heart has been broken, you feel as though the whole world pities you just because you're in sadness. When in fact, people don't actually care how you're feeling inside or what made you. Somehow this song make me realize that no one cares but makes me beg for people to lie to me because you don't care anymore about the truth.

This song can be depicted by a couple whom use each other for benefits even though they are not in love but because they are lonely, they rather have that. Bottom line, this song is selfish in its own ways.

Favourite parts :
1) Time after time you'll realize
You don't mean it.

2) You let me in
Cause after all
It seemed like the right thing to do

3) Lay me down
I'm lonely
You don't understand me
And you'd never even try to anyway

Hunger

2011-07-10T23:48:00.002+08:00

If a famine walks across the world, what would you see?

I would see people eat and stuff themselves till they die

I would see people hunger for sex and love

I would see people stare the at the computer until they go blind

I would see people buy everything they possibly think is a great technology that can benefit them

I would see people drink until they withdraw and drink again and never wake up from their hangover

Everyone has a hunger for something and cravings and desire.

Those unaffected, are the ones who are dying, or just dead inside.

Like me.

I don't give a shit about the modern age.

True Story

2011-06-28T22:56:00.012+08:00

Adapted from the reality show Biggest Loser Season 8 :

Her name is Abby.
She is age 25.
She has a beautiful husband, a daughter age 2 and a little baby girl.
After 6 months from the birth of her latest baby girl.

Her husband, her 2 daughters, were all killed in a car accident.

Do not take your family for granted. :)
Cherish them everyday.

My deadly sickness

2011-06-20T12:14:00.006+08:00

There are that times where I feel good, I feel fine, but most of the time, people will not know that

I feel ugly

I feel hopeless & helpless

I feel like the next minute some whore might ruin my life

I feel that I am not worth fighting for

I feel that I do not deserve anything from this bullshit world

& That I should be left alone.

Does it hurt you that I always feel like this?

Truth is no one cares how bad I feel inside and it could kill me it I surrender.

But I kept quiet because apparently people think I'm whining.

But the next time I'm dead,

This is the reason why.

Because I can't stop hurting myself emotionally 24hours a day.

It is a sickness since the day I start thinking.

Whenever there is a moment, I could think of the most outrageous, most daring, most heartwrenching things.

Someone actually said I could die because of this because this affects me mentally and physically.

99% will never believe this. Because they are too fucking happy to be bothered by what I go through.

No one reads my blog anyway but if you do,

You still can't cure me from this disease, but you can make me feel beautiful for once.

But tomorrow, the demon shall be resurrected once again.

White Lie

2011-05-24T19:26:00.006+08:00

Lies.

There are those that hurt you.

Those that you want to hear, those you wish it was true.

Those you wish you never found out.

A lie can kill.

The loss of honesty in someone shows one step closer we are towards destruction.

A lie can destroy something beautiful, something untouched.

Like trust and love.

A life can bring you fear. Fear of letting someone into your life after you are hurt, fear of yourself. Fear that you are not good enough. Fear this life was a mistake.

A lie at first makes you feel strong and satisfied and accomplished and bring you to the highest point in your life, but sooner or later, it will crush you with no mercy, you wish you'd exist.

What's wrong with honesty?

I wish lies were as pure and innocent as Pinocchio.

I wish. See, I'd lie again.

Heartbroken

2011-05-10T18:50:00.011+08:00

Wants, Needs. Sins, Lust, Love and Dreams are want makes a human being.

What happens when all is gone?

Might as well roam the earth without a soul.

The world is falling apart and there's no light to break up the dark.

The hurt from the pain does not make you cry anymore.

You don't have anything to wish for

You don't have hope to go on any further

You just want to leave and run away from everyone else in your life you had hope for

The waves are flooding the shore

And I can't find my way home to my heart anymore...

Everyday I wake up,

I still can't find a reason to go through the day.

I wish my life could end somehow so I can see the whole world as a spirit.

That way, I'd be happy.

Maybe one wish I could wish for,

IS save someone from suffering by giving away my heart and parts of my organs to someone who needs it more.

Walking Dead

2011-05-07T00:39:00.003+08:00

When hell breaks loose, the undead shall walk the Earth.

Wait, that happened already!

I hate the living.

Let's immerse ourselves in graphic novels and action gory movies to cure this emptiness.

Thanks Ernest for the movie and the comic!

As Elated As A Blind Man

2011-04-23T10:50:00.006+08:00

Open your eyes.
Get out of the contact lenses, take out your glasses.
See the world from a blurr point of view.

The world is so much more beautiful.
You don't see rude stares, frowns, arrogant expressions and rejection.
All you see is the landscape and people with no faces.
All you hear is your music
All you feel is the beauty of solitary confinement.

Open your eyes wide :)

Destruction

2011-03-26T09:20:00.003+08:00

Most people say 2012 everything will end.

In Islam, it is said that 3 major earthquakes will occur before the apocalyspe. One in the east (Japan) one in the west (Haiti) and one in Arab. So we are the waiting.

Waiting for the final destruction.

As it was said in the Quran, one of the major signs is the destruction of the Kaabah in Mecca. As scary as it might sounds, I have learned not to indulge in this world.

Money no longer motivates me, life no longer inspire me.

I have learnt to let go of all this wants and decide to think of death everyday, how blessed I seemed to be given air to breathe everyday. Lets think of all the things we have done to hurt someone. Lets appreciate others for their bad and for their worse.

As crazy as I seem to think, if someone does something bad to you, just remember, karma.

Stop demanding so much, there is a reason to why you are not given those things. Sometimes we don't need things that we want.

You Are Beautiful

2011-01-06T09:36:00.003+08:00

I have to admit.

In this world, everyone is wearing a mask.

Hiding from their true self.

Some have beautiful masks which they take for granted.

They use their masks to find men/women to get laid.

They use their masks to be popular.

To get advantage over others.

Some change it because they are not satisfied.

Some hate it because others constantly put them down.

Only few, are the ones that put their beauty for a better purpose.

I won't say I'm that pretty or beautiful, at least I would like myself to be.

So as to be confident of myself and the ones I love to make that effort to be beautiful for those around them.

I have seen for myself how skin of color can determine if someone can get a job,

How getting a nose job can earn a promotion,

How unfortunate people sometimes are treated unfairly.

When I was 9 years old,

I got into a motor accident. My face was almost smeared in burns and the left side of my face was distorted.

Everyone look at me like I'm a freak.

They say I was ugly,

They say I ought to be a beggar,

They look at me in disgust.

A miracle happened and my face healed.

Though now many say I look great, I chose to deny it, telling them back that there are more beautiful people out there other than myself.

My mother said, maybe my face is beautiful for a purpose.

For those who are reading and obsessed about your looks,

Just think, God give it, God take it away.

IF not God, well, beauty doesn't lasts anyway.

Never take anything for granted,

Even yourself.

Every Man For Himself

2011-01-06T09:13:00.006+08:00

Its been a while.

I've been taking notice of many things lately.

Like,

Friends never call one another anymore,

Outcasts everywhere,

Every kid wants to grow up to be a superstar,

Everyone is selfish,

Everyone is growing old and dying.

& There's not much time.

Sometimes when walk across the street and saw a death ceremony,

Its hard to cry yet its hard to care.

Like a piece of my humanity is gone.

I'm not sure whether its the experience I have for losing lots of people close to me,

Or I just don't feel like crying anymore.

Or I just leave it all to nature to be blamed.

Truth is,

I'm scared to lose all the people in my life.

Because I know the exact cost of one life lost.

But they never seem to know I exist.

Sometimes I go beyond lengths to help and sacrifice time,

Somehow they just forget.

Time is love. They only seem to care about their love partners.

IT hurts alot,

But I still somehow show no sign of distress.

This is why I hate talking to anyone and prefer being a rebel.

Sometimes all I really need is a phone call.

Live Without Warning

2010-12-02T23:16:00.003+08:00

Police Line : You better not cross

Children, don't talk to strangers.

Do not litter.

Do not spit.

Do not eat raw food.

No jaywalking.

No speeding.

We are living in another cage.

Freedom has lost its true meaning.

The true meaning of it is living dangerously. No fear.

Don't fear death.

Here everyone is a robot. Follow that trend. Follow that line.

I think the fact that the word ''kiasu'' is in the Oxford Dictionary doesn't impress me at all.

It's a shame.

Sanitation, expiration date, question everything.
Or shut up and be a victim of authority.

Blue

2010-10-26T11:25:00.006+08:00

Sometimes the world is too hateful and vengeful,

You just feel like living underwater or just lay there and die peacefully.

In the waters, you never see fights.

You never see destruction, only beauty.

You never see wars, just sharks eating their lunch.

You never see change, only a destined future.

I love the ocean.

A Haiku Poem

2010-10-19T17:50:00.001+08:00

Worker bees can leave.

Even drones can fly away.

The Queen is their slave.

One

2010-09-21T18:54:00.011+08:00

1% rise in Earth's temperature and catasrophic events follow.
1% drop in stock markets and capitalism shook in horror.
1% bacteria in your body and it turns into a disease.
1% discrimination and rioting/civil war breaks out.

Every decision you make, you have only 1 choice & if you choose incorrectly, its the regrets you have to bury for the rest of your life.

The power of one.
They say One's a loner. Two's just perfect but Three's a crowd. The change is crucial although only one is added to the number.

You might make a stupid choice today. But what are the chances of you being given that chance to straighten it out again?

I.E,
You ditch your mother's birthday dinner to go to a club with your friends not knowing that she is dying from heart attack tomorrow.
You cheated on your girlfriend/boyfriend not knowing he/she plans to hang himself/herself tommorrow.
You decide to choose a subject similar to your friends not knowing the brutal future of following others.
You decide to not fight for your place in the dance squad not knowing scouts from prestigious schools are looking for dancers tomorrow.
You ditch your 7-year-old friendship for your 12-month
-old-with-breakups-and-abuse relationship not knowing they lose their trust in you forever.

Same principles.
We never know if we're going to be here tomorrow.
Yet, she realizes everyone is blessed with another day of fresh air to breathe in but not realizing the full potential of life itself.

7/10 people died in their sleep.
You can die tomorrow.
The choice you make today, makes a huge difference tomorrow.

Change?
Its nature.
Choice?
It's not easy but dare yourself to pick one.
Regrets?
Too LATE.

Rules of Feminism (Awful Truth)

2010-09-01T17:56:00.004+08:00

To precious girls
everywhere :

Have you ever said something bad behind someone?
Have you ever created rumours which aren't true?
Have you ever curse another girl behind her back?
Have you ever make first assumptions about someone?

Is that girl/someone one of your best friends?

(Raise your hands)

I'll be blogging from my heart today.
Let's speak the brutal truth from our hearts.
Girls, in reality we all have a rule.

1) We beat around the bush before telling the truth.
2) We never date our friend's ex.
3) We gossip. ( Can't be stopped )
4) We never use our hands to fight. ( We use our rich mouths )
5) When someone new comes along, we abandon the old ones.

& a lot of other things we don't realize.

The solution to end all girl backstabbing is through brutal honesty. Trust me I've gone through it once or twice. Thanks to my closest friend Nurul, we are now closer than ever before and there is nothing that can break our bond.

Oh, we fought alright. Fought hard. But it becomes our strength in time. I'm glad to say our friendship was something special and unique unlike others.

Problem with us girls, we hate to hurt one another directly. We chose to hurt one another silently and cowardly hoping the other party won't find out. We promise to keep our lips sealed but we don't. That's where the backstabbing never stops.

I apologize to all my friends. Those who left, those who stay and those in between. Yes, I use to say bad things about almost all of you. Yes, you all hurt me indirectly sometimes even though you never realized. Yet, I never did say I still love you girls from the bottom of my heart because of who you are.

I write better than I do speak out especially in a group. I love being the spectator.
So my blog is one of my medium to communicate.

To Ellyssa, Liza, Nurul, Amira, Yasmin, Suriyana and especially Ezzah (whom I gave the cold shoulder, I still miss you despite everything honey). You all might not even read this post. But I just want to let you all know, its okay to be honest and its not bitchy as long as we straighten it out in the end.

I have been a victim of backstabbing from my family/relatives because of my father for many reasons. And still pulling through it. One of the things I want to do before I die, is to be able to make a difference in people close to me, even my enemies which I'm glad I don't have one, not yet.

With the Hari Raya coming up, there is only one reason to celebrate. Honest friendship. Trust me when I say the feeling of being honest among ourselves is way better than the air we breathe. Let's celebrate it one day, if ever it happens.

I love you girls. And I'm not saying it like any other 'normal' friend. I mean it. :)

Spiderman

2010-08-02T17:54:00.005+08:00

She always wanted to be a hero.
Saving people from the disasters whether in reality or in mind.
Saving people from their depression, their loneliness, their sadness, their chaotic state of mind.

Though she oftens forget,
She needs a hero herself.

Spiderman is incredible,
If only he exist in the real world, he would be useless.
No one dares to commit a real crime like Doctor Ock or Carnage or Harry Osbourne.

Spiderman is only a human with spider sense and incredible speed.
He is not vulnerable to pain and scars.
He did not take advantage of his powers and is corrupt free.

With great power,
Comes great responsibility.

Do you feel like you're responsible for the things you did not do?
Have you ever wondered we are each responsible in other's life? Small or big.
Do you take an effort to be responsible or do not care at all?

Each man is a hero.
Remember that :)

Run

2010-07-20T18:36:00.006+08:00

Run,

Run AWAY FROM THE CAMERA.

For Ernest and inspiring photographers and passer-bys.

Raindrops on my head

2010-07-16T19:13:00.004+08:00

Rain.

The Earth is cleansed.

The Earth is renewed.

The Earth is refreshed.

She was playing in the rain a few days back.

Of course there were thunder.

Those were her worst fears. To get struck by lightning in the midst of rain.

She was carefree.

She held out her tongue, catch those rain drops.

She makes a big splash out of the little puddles.

She listens to the music produced by each drop.

Her eyes are red from the crying.

Her face and body are drenched.

She got a bad flu.

She caught a high fever.

Was it all worth the fun?

Yes indeed.

She felt like a child again.

In fact not bothered by all the on-lookers.

Thank you,

To all her friends and families who remembered her.

Who has been there for her, through thick and thin.

She is certainly blessed.

As they say, the friends who are the most silent, are the ones that lift her spirits most.

Happiness in a nutshell

2010-06-27T19:25:00.016+08:00

Have you felt happy and safe yet you are scared at the same time?
Have you felt like you shouldn't rejoice as much as you deserve if something great happens?

This is what she always feel every single time there is joy in her life.
She doesn't deserve it.

Every happy moment might in turn be a problem in some parts.
Somehow, it takes for a person to suffer in order to exchange for a beautiful smile in return.

This week has been great.
Friends, families have bonded, like she never expect it to.
It has been a miracle.

Frankly she wishes to say thank you, for those who bothered to smile,
Bothered to be there even for a second in her life,
Bothered to listen to her craps,
Bothered to ask her out,
Bothered to give her an sms on her dead mobile.

Sometimes,
All of us have to keep away from technology a.k.a Facebook,Twitter,Hotmail,MSN, ETC.

She did that.
To find out, how all of these are actually affecting her life,
Her time, her motives, her goals in life.
Somehow, she has even more time to think of more than just who is recently in a relationship in Facebook, who says what in Twitter, who updates their status and such.

Truth is,
We all have to get away from the hectic of life sometimes.
We have to learn to sacrifice a little time for ourselves.
Enjoy and indulge while life is still there.

To her,
This country is at its end.
She wishes to get out while she still can, by hook or by crook.
She finds life and meaning by exploring not by staying in a cave and being safe.

Even though it seems that the world is ending,
We somehow miss that special moments we refuse to see when we look down.
We somehow miss how someone is always smiling to you.
How someone is missing you all the time but do not dare to say, fearing you might forget who is he or she.

AS we grow older,
We grow more apart. It is indeed scary.
But she is grateful for the people who makes an effort.

To those who left,
You're forgiven, not forgotten.

Peace&Love

Everytime you smile, spread that smile of yours to someone else.
Do your best to turn that day upside down.
Its priceless, and that person will be so much grateful to you in some parts of his or her life.

Smile :)

Be contented.
Don't ask for more.

Gifts

2010-06-01T20:36:00.008+08:00

If God gave you a passion to go explore the world, do you ignore that?

If He gave you a world full of shit and crap, do you stay there or make an effort?
If He took away your father's and mother's love from you, do you weep and cry?

If He gave you lack of money, do you work harder or just slack off?

See.
This is the situation she is in.
Everyone is living for themselves.

They never think of others but expect others to think for them.
Ever heard of the Yin & Yang?
Lets hear it for collaboration of peace and chaos.

When you are given a chaos, you do your best to attain peace amicably.
When you are given peace and certainty, be thankful and maintain that.
Of course, in every peace, there is chaos.

Be sure to tackle them with faith and strength instead of giving up to life.
Life can be a bitch to you.
Letting you down especially when you are close to your dreams.
Taking away all you ever had.
Testing your limits.
Stretching your imagination and inner faith.

She says this all too easy.
But living it. Sucks.
She's sick of this life at times until someone mentioned,

''You are Perfect. Every girl wants to be you. Every guy wants to be with you.

You have gone through the hardest of life. You are ready for life when it hits you.''

Thank you my dear friend.

For only you have I come to trust.

No one deserves her trust anymore frankly.

Every time she offers her time and ear for the problems,

They turn their back.

Every time she offers to help,

They think she should mind her own business.

Have you ever wondered, how so many strangers you see on the bus,

on the train, in school and at work?

They are still a part of your life.

Whether you like it or not.

You have to deal with it.

Zombie - A living dead

2010-05-23T12:06:00.010+08:00

Feels like almost everyone in the world right now,
including herself.

Just like Resident Evil's zombies,they devour
fresh meat yet their body system does not
require it.
Here in this world,everyone is grasping for
things they do not require,and forgets
what's life.They do not have any
destinations,goals,dreams(other than to
have babies and make money)and even a
thought for the consequences of everything
that came out from their pretty rich mouths.

Life is something to live for,not to die for.
At this rate,all the teenagers are caught up
with their love stories,all the adults forgets
their responsibility as parents,children,i fear
the worst.
They grow up so much faster and greed for
loads of money.

She tends to think of everyone as zombies.
Even herself,because she is pretty much one
too because she is deprived of her dreams.

So she is still a living dead.

If only her life was an action movie,
she will wipe them out clean with the best
machine gun.Alice(FYI girl above) style*winks

Dreamer

2010-05-02T18:13:00.010+08:00

She wants a moment of clarity.
Its just like when you see a REALLY GREAT BAND perform live for the very first time,
Nobody is saying it, but everybody is thinking it.

& You have something to believe in again.

She wants her life to mean something to someone.
She wants to be there even if its unintended.
She wants to be loved, yet she hates to embrace it.
She wants to give hope to the hopeless subconsciously.
She wants to be remembered, yet she wants to be invisible.

That feeling of her dreams which came true that night,
That night her favorite rock band came.
She stood in awe.
She was just inspired, so much.
Everyone was living their livid dream. Everyone shouted in happiness, some even cry.
Words might not describe how elated when at least one of her dreams come true.

During this period of time,
She is constantly brought down by others.
It is not easy, having to think of others and think of herself at the same time.
How everything she does affects everyone.

Its like a burden.
Her dreams are like a burden to her own life.

Bear Your Consequences

2010-04-13T00:59:00.006+08:00

It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities - Josiah Charles Stamp

When you think you are already responsible as an adult, think again.
You are never responsible.
In fact, All of Us are not responsible.

We are still selfish.
We have not yet to bear the consequences of our daily things in life.

For the things we have done, we have not think in depth of its consequences.
For example,

Pollution,
The environment bears the consequences, countries except ours are affected.
Usage of plastic bags,
The ozone layer is thinning and the Poles began to melt, and
countries experience flood.
Unprotected Pre-Marital Sex,
Others bear the infection and death of HIV/AIDS and their unborn.
Air Conditioning/Electricity,
The other side of the world bears our floods and rise in temperature.
Wastage of water,
Parts of Africa dries up.
Wastage of Food,
The Third world countries who had not had enough and who ironically
grew the rice are dying of hunger.
Gossiping
The person's life you gossiped is being destroyed and sabotaged.
Unnecessary Retail Therapy/Cars
Many are in poverty
Procrastination
Your superiors bear your failures
Complaining
Others take the hurt and pain of your dissatisfaction
Laziness
Your parents have to work a little extra hard
Broken promises,
Your friend bears your absence and problems
Segregation (Race/Religion/Politics)
Thousands of children and women have to die, and many are killed in riots/war.

These are some of the examples she could think of
That many do not realize.
She is ashamed as well, until she saw a beautiful yet very sad image of a children, in Africa,
Crying in pain because of the rise in temperature, due to Global Warming.

ITs best we all realize now.
That everything we do, even the slightest, we have to think.

Will it have a good impact on someone?
Or will it make someone suffer?

Have a little fun everyday :)

2010-04-04T16:34:00.009+08:00

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

A fireman, nurse, policeman, soldier, spy, ballerina, pilot, astronaut, but mostly, especially, grown up. We want to stop being children and become adults.

Even children use “childish” as a pejorative. Adults are responsible, mature, somber, sober and serious. The only time most adults let loose and have fun is during sex, which could explain the popularity of that activity among adults. Adulthood has no time for fun. Playing is for kids.

We adults do ourselves a disservice.

Fun is good for everyone, young and old. Playing requires imagination and to imagine is to exercise your brain. Having fun lets you look at life askew, and what you see may impress you. Playing is refreshing. It recharges our batteries.

Fun keeps us young, it allows us to extend some aspects of childhood into adulthood. There’s value in play, as the following video points out. Not only was this a brilliant way to get people to do something healthy for themselves, it also introduces an element of play into their lives. It improves their inner and outer health. We ought to build all stairs this way. Why can’t we design hopscotch squares into our public sidewalks every few blocks? Why don’t we all relax and have a little fun everyday?

Forget about how people looks at you in disgust when you have your fun! Its their loss! XD

Have you had your fun today?

2010-04-01T22:50:00.006+08:00

Sugar
Oh Honey Honey XD

In this catchy tune of the 60's it still make others smile.
Makes you sing your worries away.
Makes you do a silly dance.
Makes you just want to groove silly with that special friend or someone.

True,
In life there are bound to be people putting you down
There are bound to be people doubting you
There are bound to be people hurting you
Hurt you, or break you apart.

But how many times you see more people
Cheering you up,
Telling a joke to make your day,
Giving wisdom advices and hope to get through
Telling you to hold on a while longer even though you are hanging by a thread.

She witnesses many stupid acts of childishness lately.
She saw heartbreaks.
She saw acts of cowardice.
She saw stupid teenage love and drama.
She saw acts of selfishness.
She saw change.
She saw stubborn attitude,
She saw curses and swearings,

But she never sees LIFE NOR ENDURANCE NOR YOUTH.

As if their youths are spent with teenage love,
Instead of sense of thrill and adventure and fun.

IT hurts to be the one advising you.
The one to go through it all with you.
The one to tell you its going to be alright.
The one to tell you, you are beautiful as Christmas morning.
The one to tell you, that person that hurts you isn't worth at ALL.
The one to tell you being single is not at all frightening.

She wants to be there for them.
Somehow they are blind, somewhat.
She doesn't care to hear about their crushed relationship between the boyfriend/girlfriend.
She just wants to convey that THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE.
Than being in FUCKING LOVE STORIES.

To those people who is hurt and who is stubborn enough to not listen
Take in the bitter and sour taste of your stupid problems
After each taste, there are bound to be sweet pleasures to follow.

IF you are still stubborn, take a knife and kill yourself,
She'll have the last laugh at you :)

APRIL FOOL'S~!
p/s : That is sarcastic.

2010-03-31T21:23:00.004+08:00

Time.
Have you ever wondered the essence of time?
Each second a camera flashes, each second a water droplet falls, each second thunder strikes,
Each second you run, each second you fall, each second you cry.
The cruelty that every second go on by without mercy.
No matter what, all of Man never appreciates time until it is too late.

Regret for wasted time, is wasted time.
We can never look back at the what ifs in life.
Things we could have done, but we were lost in life of the arts.
We were more devoted to the shames in life, like clubbing, drinking, cursing,
disobeying our parents, skipping school and not doing well in the studies.
Of course, she thinks a little is more than enough.
Everyone deserves to have fun although
in today's world, she hates to admit that even the teenagers has changed drastically.

Have you ever feel you are the most unluckiest people in the world?
Because your boyfriend/girlfriend leaves you.
Because you don't have awesome parents.
Because they wouldn't give you freedom.
Because you are rejected by the coolest people in campus.
Because you are SINGLE & UNLOVED?

How many TIMES have you wrote about nothing but your love life?
How many times have you wrote about something which is more to life?

We are blessed.
Each moment in life is a gift. Wrapped in a mystery. Waiting to be unfold.
What comes out of it is unpredictable.
IT can be tragedy, it can be happiness, it can be a wave of disaster, it can be love.

How we deal with it,
Is the most important thing.

The gift, is happiness, for example. However, you chose to wait and let fate opens it for you.
By then, the point of that gift is already expired.

The gift, is tragedy, another example. However, you chose to break down and give up in life and quit. Not knowing how many billions of other people fight for their lives everyday. Instead its best to learn from every tragedy, although it hurts, it only makes you stronger.
Pain is temporary, Quitting/Regretting lasts forever!

She wants to take a risk in life.
Although time is never right to do something, that's why it is called a risk.
She wants to make a difference.
She wants to venture into the world as every single post she had mentioned numerous times.
She refuses to WASTE MORE TIME because she has already waste 2 years.

Because every second,
We are dying. We are blessed with life each second.
The freedom to breathe, the freedom to see, the senses to feel how great life actually is.
We are supposed to fill each minute in our lives with things we want to do.
Things we should have done. Like our dreams and ambitions.
Things we are dared to do but didn't.
Things we are scared to do only because others will put you down.

Have you took a risk today?

2010-03-25T01:29:00.005+08:00

The music that plays today its about love.
A parent's love of course.

ITs about what could it be, when a father is still alive for her daughter's wedding.
What it feels like for him to watch her graduate.
What it feels like for him to see her go to prom night.

Before her mother died, before December 26, 2008.
She longs for her kisses every single day especially her birthdays.
She envisions her mother was there for her when she graduates in a university.
She foresees her wedding day with the new member in the family.
She visualizes her carrying her baby.
She dreams to travel all around the world as a family.

IT wasn't what it seemed in reality.
She was unable to fulfill all of the above duties.
She only did see her off to prom night all beautiful, at least to her.
Although the night she graduated, she wasn't there because
her mom's cancer was at peak.

16 years.
Of living and schooling with her in her life.
Everyday, getting a smile and a kiss and a prayer that all will be safe.
Everyday, having enough food on the table, food cooked with love.
Everyday, having to see her sing and dance in front of the television.
Everyday, having to hear her say, "Do your best for school"

Its been 2 years.
Yet all the memories and heart ache lingers every single second.
School is never the same.
Work is never the same.
Friends are never the same.
Life is never the same.
Future is never the same.

It's been hard to live life without parents.
Especially when one is gone, and one doesn't really care since she was young.
This video above is about father, somehow if possible she wanted her father to be with her.
To see her successful in life
To see her go to a good university in the future.
To see her in my wedding gown one day.

Although her dad has been missing in her life for almost 18 years in her life,
She longs for him to come back, once more in her life.

Although its really heartbreaking,
He keeps breaking his promises over and over.
Furthermore, she doesn't live with her family.

Everyone she loves is so far and out of reach, it fucking hurts.

P/S, Happy Birthday Yasmin :)

2010-03-22T23:33:00.001+08:00

Even the rain can't beat my lovely sunshine(s)
Went on as planned to Botanical Gardens.
Although we have not met in a long time, God knows how blessed
I felt sharing one umbrella with you girls :)
In fact, I don't mind getting drenched because you girls
endured your blisters and pain for me :)

As for these girls,
One phrase is enough.

"All the wrongs, felt so right. "

2010-03-17T23:26:00.008+08:00

Music.
It means so much, at least to her.
Even to the extent that she needs perfection and decides what song to
soothe her readers in every post.

No, she's not talking about the emo fanatics who wants to kill themselves.
No, she's not talking about the clubbers who loved loud meaningless music.
No, she's talking about screamo songs with extremely no meaning whatsoever.

Her memory card had an error.
Somehow, a week or so without her music, she felt something was missing.

To her, music is a companionship which can be trusted,
Upon times humanity cannot cure.
Her life is full of lonesome in between long breaks.

Music brings life to her every time she walks in the cold night.
Music brings life to her dance.
Music blocks out the insane craziness of the outside world.
Music adds color and infatuate boredom and turn everything so much more interesting.
Music gives rhythm to every step she takes in life.
Music gives her right to control her world according to her mood.
Music gives chance in her life.
Music has good inspiring lyrics to live by when she's down.
Music soothes her hurt soul everyday of being hurt by others.
Music brings about calamity in her soul when she is pissed.

After days without it, she treasures it even more.

She doesn't listen to the latest trends.
Instead she listens to talented artists with soul and passion, to entertain and
let out their feelings to let us know we are not alone.
To bring out those simple poems to life.
To wake a heart long afraid to feel.
To inspire.

Call her old fashion.
No, she doesn't listen Techno, but she gives Lady Gaga a chance at times.
Even though she thinks her music is lost, without the meaning in the rhyming.
But only good music only has the allowance to lift her spirits when its crestfallen.
She gives folk country, tango, salsa, french, cuban music a chance as well.
Diversity.
& Its very tasteful, just like food.
Not just the type of music but also brings out the culture through it.

As they say,
Music is a universal language. Even rapping.
So, if you don't like her music, she tells you this,

Every song has a code, A final movement. Whether it fades out or crashes away, Every song ENDS. Is that any reason not to enjoy MUSIC?

2010-03-13T21:33:00.005+08:00

Think.
A nuclear missile is worth approximately 1Billion.
That amount can feed a school in a third world country for 5-8 years.
A car is worth approximately $50,000.
She's talking about normal cars we all see everyday on the congested roads.
Then she observes the complaints and horns made about occurring traffic jams.
Then she sees the poor attitudes of the late comers in the morning.
& How they think only for themselves and start to put everyone else around them down.

Cars. Money. Deterrence.
In our generation today, we brag about money just to be on top.
Just to feel good about ourselves.
Governments all over the world emphasize on weapons and military in case of a war.
But is it really the war we are trying to fight?
Example, one country may spend about 2-3billions of dollars on weapons and machinery,
To deter the terrorists.
And the terrorists? They are just heartless Man and by doing all these, we are actually proving them right that we are downright scared and heartless, just like them.

& Us citizens?
We spend ample money on cars. Clubbing. Smoking.
Abortions. The latest accessories, the latest branded trends.
I can't say much about a human's needs for materials as long as its in moderation.

Heck with it.
She's a girl who is not impressed by a Man's ignorance and selfishness.
She prefers a man who has a sense of benevolence in his heart.
$50,000 can buy us about 5000 sacks of 5kg rice.
Let us think about how the third world countries in the time of drought and war violence.
How a sack of rice can help a family for a week.
How that sack of rice can prevent one from getting illnesses and sickness.

Do we think of the other side of the world, hungry for food, every time we are
unable to finish our meals?
Do we think of how hard they work for our rice to be in our bowls today?
Do we think of how meager they are paid for providing the most basic of our necessities?
Do we think of repaying them back somehow?

Sadly, we answer No to most of them.
But to my readers who are reading this, start asking :)
Its the thought that counts.

If we think of others, maybe others will think of us too.
What if one day, one fateful day, they are selfish like us,
And decides to stop rice production? We are damned.

We Singaporeans complain of how bad the food is,
How unkempt the place is, How expensive the meals is,
How crowded it is and how long the queue is.

Consider yourself lucky my friends.
We are lucky enough to even dream and choose our life paths.
Some of us may not even get through the day.
But we should be contented.

A life lived for others, is a life worth living - Albert Einstein
Make someone smile everyday :)

2010-03-08T00:52:00.006+08:00

Ay Caramba!
XD Eat my SHORTS MAN! :D

2010-03-01T21:32:00.008+08:00

Man has fears.
Man has fears when he doesn't know.
He is afraid of what might be on the other end.
For example, the dark.
He doesn't know where he is and what is waiting for him.
So he fears, until he figures out how to switch on the light where everything will be lucid again.

Another example,
Travel.
Man fear of traveling when he hears rumors.
The more the rumors are about plane crash, about oil leak, about natural disasters,
Man feels its safer to be at home, rotting away.
This is because his mindset is implanted with all negativity, he refuses to believe in all positivity.

She fears 2 things.
She fears the water and her heart getting broken again.
Water,
Her first water adventure was snorkeling.
The reefs were beautiful but some parts were bare.
She was afraid of the unknown things she encountered, so she keep panicking.
When she panics, she can't breathe and her body will start sinking.
Her minds goes blank,
Her imagination runs so wild, fearing the creatures might bite and she might die and etc...

Silly as it seems.

Her heart getting broken again,
She misses the friends. Who doesn't? Though things were fucked up.
Somehow she tries giving in and sends an email just to be a listening ear.
She knows when something goes wrong and she can't ignore.
Since they were once a part of her life.
Sure she deletes them from her life.
But adds them back after some time.

Knowing only that its no use.

That thing she had with them, can never be taken back like before.
She hates to admit she still loves them all the same but like she said,
Fear.
She fights to know the point of the friendship.
She figures out what her presence meant to them.
However knowing all of the things mentioned, she still fears them knowing they will hurt her again.

2010-02-26T22:29:00.003+08:00

She guesses there was nothing for 2000 because practically everyone is running naked,
Because of the heat.

The first 2 months of year 2010,
Started off very hot indeed.
Maybe its the season. Maybe its Global Warming. Maybe its just the weather.

In all her living years in Singapore,
The humidity has never felt so intense.
Just walking during 10am in the morning, she end up sweating after 10minutes.
OR just being out in the corridor, she is already perspiring.

She worries for this.
She hopes everyone will do their part for the environment.
Here in Singapore, we are known for our plastics.
Minority of us use recyclable bags which are more durable and gentle to our hands.
Singaporeans are not seeing the fragility of this.
Even foreigners are scared by our usage of plastic bags.

She has seen it for herself, since she is working close to foreigners,
She saw initiative of them carrying their goods with their bare hands.
She saw how they are willing to spend about $5 more for recyclable bags.

Singaporeans?
Yes, some of us are very concerned about money.
We can go to the extent of saving even 10cents.
But the cost that we have to pay for being stubborn? We are already experiencing it.

But here is a gentle reminder,
You actually make a difference even though people all around you doesn't think so.

2010-02-23T22:15:00.008+08:00

I HOPE YOU GUYS MISS IT TOO~

She decides to take a step back today.
Step back from the present and think of all the past.

Remember all those times we were still in our uniform?
The times we came late to school?
The times we were sent to detention?
The times we ate all the lunch together?

The times we stayed back in school studying but end up slacking?
The times we came to school to early and went up to the classroom?
The times when it rained and we rejoiced so to skip the assembly?
The times when we acted during assembly period?
The times when that 2 period boring English lesson was canceled and we CHEERED?
The times when we locked out the English teacher outside the class?
The times when everyone sleeps during lessons?
The times when almost half the class sat outside the classroom and the principal pass by?
The times when we were punished and the other classes looked at us?
The times when were having hell of a P.E lesson?
The times that we did all the push ups and pull ups?
The times that we had to run a 2.4km within a time range?
The times we always have a satisfying Gold award for our tests in the end?
The times when we put dry ice in the water bottle
and nearly killed someone on Teacher's Day?
The times when we were in Sentosa playing Dog-&-Bones?
The times when we passed through each other's classrooms?
The times when that certain someone cried and all of them confront them?
The times when we were in that motivational course
and how we stood up together?
The times when we went up that stage and tell the world "Thank You"?
The times when the boys went to Downtown East to celebrate Fang Yong's birthday?
THE TIMES WHEN THE BOYS WENT BOTAK??
The times when we sat together in the round table at recess?
The times when all our teachers held us back and we were furious?
The times when one of them actually gave us a recess after the second recess as a rebound?
The times when we teased our pregnant
Mathematics female teacher of that "night" and she BLUSHED?
The times when we were excited learning Sex Education but it was indeed boring?
The times when we were scolded as a whole group in the parade ground by Chemistry Teacher?
The times we have to listen to our Principal nag nag nag nag nag... ??
The times we never fail to hand up that homework/file in time for the check?
The times when that stupid false alarm saying
there is a classroom spotcheck?
The times everyone went haywire and started
throwing books 3 floors down?
The times when we walked up that spiral staircase?
The times when it rained, it was spooky yet exciting in the morning?
The times when we were making horny jokes in class?
The times when we had that in-place protection exercise and the guys stripped?
The times when after all that's done the world seems like air-conditioner?
The times in graduation ceremony?
THE TIMES IN PROM NIGHT????
THE TIMES IN PROM NIGHT THAT SOMEONE
WAS SEDUCING THE PRINCIPAL?
The times having our O Levels in the halls and smelling Chicken Rice?
The times that we sleep during our O Levels just giving up?
The times that we cried upon our results?

She reads her previous posts in her blog over the 2 years.
Childish and immature were her starting days, dissing about pretty much everything.
But grew up slowly after death of mother and death of others and breaking of her heart.

Wow.
Amazing how reading through your previous life,
It is not easy to erase them. Which is the reason why she stayed through the 3 years in blogger.
The past memories is too precious to just erase it all.

She did miss her friends and classmates.
To the extent that she dreamt of them sometimes, but its hard knowing reality is cruel.
All the things they have done for her and all the things we have gone through together.
ITs good to miss it.

Everything has changed,
But she's glad she got the best experience ever.
Gee, she misses school. Lets hope she will get it soon :(

2010-02-19T01:28:00.004+08:00

Have you ever thought how many times in a day
you complain about not having enough in your life?
I am pretty sure we all do.
Money, Gold, Finances, Credit Cards, Cars, House, Condo
SHIRTS, DRESSES, IPODs, BLACKBERRY, LAPTOPS JEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ

Fine.
We all need money to buy our daily necessities.
But why complain?

She stumble across this article, it was named, GOLD OBSESSION.
She was shocked, at the true cost of the global obsession.
For thousands of years the desire to possess gold has driven people to extremes,
fueling wars and conquests, girding empires and currencies, leveling mountains and forests.

Gold is not vital to human existence.

What it takes to dig out this GOLD? Sheer torture. The rising demands of our world for gold, has driven our friends in South Africa to mine illegally, destroying our nature just because they want their salary. Out of this billions of people working, what they managed to find is close to none. What our first class world demands, they have to get it. They aren't our slaves! They are just humans just struggling to survive and eat at the end of the day.

Luck. A man named Sanchez, has a vision to send his children away from this place. He wants his children to be in school. Luck came for Sanchez today, out of 10years of digging for this element, today he has a stroke of luck.

Sanchez found a speck of gold. weighing only 1.1grams. He went to the gold merchant. The merchant put on a face, one can describe as snobbish and selfish. The merchant, after weighing the gold, gives a few bills and with a shrug of his shoulders, he hands Sanchez a sum of less than US$20.

"Better luck next time,"the merchant says.

She cried reading this long and indeed painful life they have to live every single day.
She asks herself, why can't we give them back?
Look at what we are doing to them. We made them into possessed humans who want nothing but GOLD. They mine day and night, hoping for that even one speck.

She looks at her life, here in Singapore.
True, she has no money but she has shelter and food and
she doesn't go crazy over the shortage of money.
Although many people in her country do.
To the extent of killing one another, just to get easy money.
To the extent of taking one's future, just to buy all the latest phones.
To the extent of destroying our younger generation, by poisoning their pure mindset, robbed them of their youths and yet we are still COMPLAINING.

She is crying everyday,
As she sees everything which is happening today.
She wants to escape.